2010年3月30日 星期二

Me as a supertasker

http://news.yahoo.com/s/livescience/20100329/sc_livescience/supertaskersthatcandriveandtalkonphonerare

According to this survery there are only 2.5% of population that can drive while talking on phone. I am definitely one of them. I am well trained on this and in fact i just made a business call (with speakers!) while driving back to office a while ago.

i think there is clearly one blindspot in this research, that driving and talking are not straight forward. The entire thing is driving and talking are two complex sets of behavior and different scenarios will dictate how much attention the mind has to use to complete a task. Conducting business on phone definitely needs more thinking than talking gossips, and driving through a rainstorm or squeezing through a tunnel definitely is much harder than driving on an empty freeway.

Also your ability to drive and ability to talk also play a critical role on how a brain needs to function. I am an OK driver and to me driving on road, even zigzagging through the traffic, is as simple as playing TV games, but there are people who think driving is a much more serious matter. The same happens to speaking ability too, Barack Obama is defintiely better in talking than anyone of us

Anyway it is nice to know i am among the top 2.5% of the population! maybe someone will hire me as a fighter jet pilot?

2010年3月25日 星期四

Food Weapons

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/as_india_chili_grenades

I love this news so much. The Indians have scored a big one on creative weapon development. This opens up endless opportunities for everyone to make creative weapons, and perhaps this movement will help make world a more peaceful place as weapons are now meant to wow people instead of killing people.

Since this is a chili weapon I think I can come up with two really useful weapons that use food to keep people in order. No it is not those grossy discovery channel materials, but normal food!

1. Syrup/Lard spray.

As a chinese we condifer lard/pig fat as really delicious food, and i do think this works better with pig fat. However as I am a attentive person that respect other cultures and culcinary preference, syrup just works as well.

This can be used on disperse mobs or women streakers in aerosol sprays. I think this is an improvement over using water because high concentration syrup or animal fat will give a very sticky, greasy texture over a body when it is sprayed on others. People will immediately stop their actions and want to eliminate the sticky feelings. Lard works better because greasiness is more irritative and it smells worse.

IMHO it is also better than using jolokia in aerosol sprays it is just as dangerous to the user that uses the jolokia spray. I suspect the users will need strong chemicals to clean the jolokia residuals, whereas you only need strong soaps if it is lard or syrups

2. Durian/Coconut Bomb

This can be used on fighting against bank robberies by launching the fruit bombs to the robbers. As a durian hater I prefer durian because the long and thick spurs will cause significant damage if one were struck by a high speed durian. The robbers will need to either to put effort to dodge durians or shoot them down, but the good part is a durian shell is not thick and once it is broken, the provocatively disgusting smell will definitely break the robbers' will. However this would not work in Southeast Asia where durian is loved, so I propose to use coconut as an alternative, this is because the shells are harder and if the shells are crashed, the syrup inside will bring the same effect as the first one.

(i thought of using pineapple but i think it tastes and smells too good to be a crime stopper :P)

hopefully some day we will live in a world that weapon is for us to poke fun but not for killing people!

待友之道

友人在blog寫道:

"朋友說我的consultation section愈加冷酷無情。我囂張地回敬道,那不是你找我的原因嗎? 我多想可以衷心祝您幸福快樂。"

我想起很多人都問過我的問題: 為什麼我還會有朋友?

我和這位朋友的分別是, 我是直斥其非加粗口橫飛, 我真正把你當朋友的話, 我看到你有問題絕對不會把我的想法潤飾, 只會狠狠地把你臭罵一頓. 罵人專家的虛銜我是當仁不讓的

我的特點是不去顧及別人感受. 不是我不懂, 而是到了我們這些年紀, 身邊永遠都有一堆奉承自己的人, 用甜言蜜語去蒙蔽自己的目光以達到自己的目的. 作為朋友的我, 除了你的關愛我不需要你的什麼, 那麼我就當然不需要客氣了.

是我身邊的好友, 肯定都被我直斥過, 而感情越好的當然是更尖銳更難堪了

為什麼我還會有朋友? 那不就是你找我的原因嗎?

2010年3月23日 星期二

分機號碼299

話說我地公司有新電話system所以我有個新的extension

一睇真開心: 299!!!

係咪即係話公司鼓勵我包2奶? 晤係wor.... 人地鄧萃雯系4奶奶, 咁我而家有個2奶奶, 係咪即係我仲有幾個奶奶? =)

呢間公司福利真係好... 如果佢幫我養晒咁多個奶奶同埋攪掂我個大婆的話

2010年3月22日 星期一

餐牌


呢度是但一個entry都入選 http://www.engrish.com/ 不過一整張都係就真係經典
好笑果D 打fans, hand fighting fish balls, yu son of tofu果D就晤講la全香港都知... 我只係想加幾個points
1. 當呢個真係大陸學生整的先: 響engrish.com入面的chinglish都有個共通點: 就係D好難D字就中晒易果D就笑晒. 呢張都係咁: 駝鳥肉佢就arm, 但係同時又出到albert yip同fans!! 有時我真係晤明, 大陸都有英文學的, 我睇過高考的課本D英文係一D都晤淺, 但係又成日都會出到呢D正野!! 明明豬下青係豬的一部分又點會pig under the green? 用下個腦去聯想下個字是否appropriate係咪真係咁難?
2. 晤好講點解餐廳冇人proof read個menu住, 我想知點解會有英文版? 話就話間野響酒店不過一則我未見過有老外打邊爐二則我從來未見過天水圍有晤係印巴籍的老外(除非閣下家住天水圍否則你一定晤夠我去得密, 我真係未響天水圍聽過有人講英文!!), 既然冇人睇咁做乜要徙錢整個英文版? (晤係歧視不過住天水圍印巴籍朋友真係好窮, 晤會點食得起打邊爐) 你有要徙錢又晤proof read咁你話呢間野得晤得?
3. 嘉湖海逸係接待大陸遊客的酒店, 咁點解又晤整簡體字同拼音menu?
4. 鮑魚專門店英文係咪 louis vuitton bag of fish?
5. btw我好想知佢地用邊位內地學生識albert yip, 我成日想請個識HK文化的內地助手好耐!!
6. finally我係個老細就打死都晤改menu!! 呢D晤係賣點, 直頭係景點!!!

2010年3月18日 星期四

Lower Speed Limit?

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748704688604575125510326010610.html?mod=yhoofront

Well apart from inducing more speeding tickets so insurance companies (in USA at least) can increase insurance cost, there are 10 other reasons why a lower speed limit in freeway is a good idea:

1. It gives you more time to admire the ferrari driving around you

2. Eliminate sudden lane switching because everyone is going so slow

3. Improve truck stop business because everyone is driving as slow as a truck

4. Allow drivers to eat burgers, watch youtube movies, tweeting and use GPS at the same time

5. Allow pedestrians to cross the freeway in one piece

6. To provide enough buffer to stop Prius to go too fast

7. Improve relationship between police and drivers

8. Improve effectiveness on banner ads

9. You need more coffee everyday

10. More people will take public transportation because the experience between driving and taking a bus is the same

Seriously, the real danger on a highway is driver driving TOO FRIGGIN SLOW!! The world will be safer and smoother if every freeway works like the Autobahn. Check wiki on Autobahn before arguing with me on this

2010年3月17日 星期三

唔想俾人笑,法國牌子要識讀

http://www.vdonext.com/index.php?fuseaction=Features.Archive&channel_id=575783&program_id=668365

真係羞家.... 10大品牌我都淨係讀arm 4個 :P

有時又不是鐵板一塊: 經典例子係宜家傢俬IKEA. 小弟讀書時被一位名門之後"禮貌地"指導呢個字係讀"唉-kee-A"不是"二-kee-A". 當然英語世界呢個品牌確實係讀"唉-kee-A", 之不過呢間舉世知名的瑞典公司的瑞典正名正剩就係"二-kee-A"!!! (所以台灣IKEA先會叫做宜家家居, 之後香港就係宜家傢俬) 咁人地一樣係"唉/二"齊飛賺盡呢個世界的錢! 你可晤可以話呢個名門之後錯先

不過話時話, 都晤知點解D人咁崇尚名牌都晤去學下自己買果隻野個名點讀... 我真係晤明點解D人連"lu-wee vit-ton"都晤識. 人地LV的售貨員熱情地同你講welcome to lu-wee (Louis) vit-ton (Vuitton)你一次聽晤真睇怕你去3個月都聽到la gua.... 晤通米蘭站的售貨員晤識? 我聽過佢地讀過係讀到ga bor!!

點都好, 我想起我老婆話佢以前shopping聽到個師奶話自己響THE-me血拼, 咁我去CHANNEL買袋比老婆其實都晤係過份ar!! =)

2010年3月16日 星期二

Nurses' union: Care does not include sex

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20100311/od_nm/us_dutch_nurses;_ylt=AvOzyjzQYliTBzQNdgP_Bn3tiBIF;_ylu=X3oDMTJsNmxiazR2BGFzc2V0A25tLzIwMTAwMzExL3VzX2R1dGNoX251cnNlcwRwb3MDMTAEc2VjA3luX2FydGljbGVfc3VtbWFyeV9saXN0BHNsawNudXJzZXMzOXVuaW8-

The silly part of the entire news is, why would people ask for sexual services from a nurse in the first place?

OK Neatherlands is more open to sex than many cultures, but defining fellacio as body cleaning by another person is going a little bit too far. Abusing individual rights is THE most depressing movement in our current culture. Just because you are handicapped does not mean other people will need to kneel down and blow your joystick, but sadly many people feel they are entitled to everything.

Given that prostitutes are legal in Neatherlands it does not make sense that they are not expanding their services beyond traditional sexual services. i can certainly see enormous potential if they open daycare centers for the handicapped. This gives the prostitutes (and their bosses) two shifts of incomes, the handicapped can fulfill their sexual needs and government can charge more tax. everybody wins.

but then the hookers may complain why sex workers need to clean wounds and faeces for clients. i would love to know if they have a union to fight for them!

2010年3月15日 星期一

東莞桑拿短訊 發到中央領導

anyway... 如果胡總收到桑拿KTV的情慾短信, 晤知佢會點呢?

1. 打電話問汪洋確認行情
2. 叫劉淇去北京夜場格價
3. 責成周永康嚴打掃黃
4. 微服出巡
5. 叫信息部加快綠霸2開發

比我就肯定係1, 就算胡總晤去滾, 國家主席了解民情都係好正常. 想深一層, 大陸黃色事業除左幫助農村發展之外對打擊通脹都有重大貢献! 即使經過國家多年的經濟發展都冇乜加過價, 除左肉金跑輸通脹, 妓女收入冇增長, 你話佢地的消費力邊有得增長? 所以你話點可以亂咁嚴打? :P

______________________________________________

錄自2010年3月16日經濟日報

東莞桑拿短訊 發到中央領導

【本報訊】東莞市近期多次打擊色情行業,但屢禁不止。負責監控桑拿業的東莞市衞生局副局長金行中日前表示,桑拿短訊經常發到中央領導人及省市領導人的手機上,繼續下去,他會被追究責任,而各級官員亦都無法逃避。

金指示各級人員加大掃黃力度。

當局加強掃黃 查處無證場所

東莞市過去一年共查處40間無牌桑拿浴室,但目前仍然有非法浴室經營。金行中上周五(12日)在東莞市衞生監督工作會議上痛斥,「桑拿短訊經常發到中央領導、省市領導的手機中。這個事情管不好,我要被追究責任,你們也跑不了。不能再上有政策,下有對策。」

據東莞市衞生局衞監科科長李小偉指出,東莞的桑拿可謂遍地開花,但全市有證的桑拿場所只有130多家,無證的是有證的數倍。李小偉並指,東莞多個部門近期將聯合開展桑拿專項整治行動。目前,由多部門聯合開展的桑拿服務行業專項整治行動,已完成摸底(了解情況),即日起開始全面清理,無證、涉黃桑拿場所均在查處之列。

去年以來,東莞已開展多次「掃黃」行動,桑拿服務行業在「掃黃」行動中頻受影響。然而,市民仍然時不時能收到桑拿短訊,路邊有時也能遇見有人派發桑拿傳單,說明涉色情桑拿業仍存在。

2010年3月13日 星期六

格林童話


昨日上廠工作, 見到廣告銷售惠州屋苑"格林童話世界", 我真係覺得好HIGH


我真係好想知, 呢個價錢等於"深圳一房"的別墅區, D門牌係咪"灰姑娘", "小紅帽", "睡公主"? 咁買屋果陣, 份房產証係咪用格林童話包住? 公契會唔會寫明如果住戶睇安徒生會唔會比人趕出去?


以下係屋苑簡介:

“格林童话世界”是格林地产打造的纯欧式Townhouse生活社区,位于惠城区潼侨镇,总占地面积约20万平方米,项目总建筑面积40万平方米,容积率约为2.0,绿化率为34%,包括别墅、情景HOUSE、15000㎡商务会所、五星级酒店、商业广场、国际情景街区、迷你高尔夫、国际双语幼儿园等。一期是以低密度联排TOWNHOUSE、多层电梯花园洋房组成的一个具有浓郁西班牙风情的大型社区,户户享有南向全落地玻璃阳光室与宽敞一步阳台,顶层户型家家有独立的私家花园。在景观设计中采用了景观先行和线性景观的规划思路,三条线性景观带延伸到小区的各个区域,景观带沿线设计了大量供居民活动和休息的主题公园和广场,使人们有更多机会走出户外与他人交流。一期洋房预计将于2008年8月份可交付使用。二期纯别墅,并配有业主私家会所、私家游泳池及国际双语幼儿园,建筑风格以法式风格为主,组团名为普罗旺斯印象

呢個屋苑已經賣到三期... 只不過格林童話得239個故事, 如果繼續發展的話, 咁係咪要同莎翁同迪迪尼合作發展?
作者們不如賣D作品名比大陸發展商la... 包保發過豬頭! =)

2010年3月12日 星期五

Restaurant City Gifts

I only play Restaurant City in FB now, and I love the new gift system. It certainly revives the game!

However I am very puzzled and annoyed by one thing, WHY YOU SEND ME MANGOS?

There are gift only indigrients and people will send you back good stuffs if u send coconuts and pineapples, and i certainly will send back good stuffs if i get useful stuffs. so what the hell make you guys thing sending out those friggin mangos is a good idea?

why not send me real mangos so i can enjoy it?

Hey folks, please send something useful and get the game going!!

2010年3月11日 星期四

廉署拘捕無線陳志雲

http://hk.news.yahoo.com/article/100311/4/gykx.html

呢個故事教訓大家, 槍打出頭鳥係永恆不變的真理

World's Billionaires 2010

http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/109029/worlds-billionaires-2010

The silliest of all charts, because we all love reading this.

Really random thoughts

1. As a HKer/Hongie, I am devastated when we were being included into China. I think Hong Kong will cease to be a "country" in American Internet system soon. Oh btw, there is no official term as "Hong Kong-er" or "Hongie". Let me leave this topic open for next time shall I ever remember that

2. And that the richest Chinese is still a Konger. Mr Li Ka-shing should be ashamed when reading Forbes name him as the most generous asian. Not only he did not donate any significant amount of his wealth like Warran Buffert, he is a trillion times worse than Bill Gates in terms of business assholes.

3. Richard Li, Son of KS Li, will not earn a penny if he is not the son of his famous father. He is the anti-christ.

OK enough for pan Hong Kong-ism (hey i still prefer to call myself a Konger!). now to some more serious thoughts

4. It is a shock to see India has TWO more affluent persons than the richest human being in China (and that guy is not even a citizen in China). The rich/poor disparity gap is wider than the indian ocean. I will take the China development model over the Indian model anytime.

5. Havent said that I rode the Indian tide before. I once invested in an Indian fund and the portfolio once held like 15% of Reliance.

6. Perhaps being an affluent person in India is better than being one in China/Hong Kong. You can have a more classy and lavish lifestyle. Not only the Indian elegance are built by gold and fits into the traditional chinese saying to a palace -- shinning golden place (金碧輝煌), they even have much better premium airline products. Jet Airways' new First Class Suite is just god-damned gorgeous and IMHO it is SQ/EK kind of good, and its fierce rival Kingfisher is a Skytrax approved 5-star airline. Whereas our own 5-star airline CX sucks so hard that they will be demoted to 4 star anytime.

However nothing can change my belief that life is good in India only if you are a tycoon.

(this blog owner is an airline junkie and you will read my $0.02 on airlines from time to time)

7. Most important of all, I think we can put all arguments about whether women's money are easy to earn to rest for good. Largest shareholders of the groups running LV and Zara are in top 10 and the one who owns H&M is more affluent than Li Ka-shing. I guess I should start selling my LZ bags, CLL lipsticks and T&C bras soon.

2010年3月10日 星期三

The international war over exit signs.

http://www.slate.com/id/2246107/?yahoo=y

i find this topic fascinating for the below reasons

1. i know ISO (International Organization for Standardization) is a stupid and useless set of standards for a long time, but i didnt expect they are stupid enough to set some standard for signages! no wonder they are totally useless

2. my long standing belief is that american way of living is to SEND MESSAGES instead of GET MESSAGES ACCROSS and this is one of the living proofs. EXIT is a simple word that I think even without proper English training knows its meaning, but who in the sane mind will design a 20-30 words sinage and expect people will friggin read it? why make it if people will not read it?

3. This means Chinese and Americans are twin brothers. We do this in China too. Or else Chinglish would not become a prominent feature in www.engrish.com

4. I actually like the Russian sign more but I guess ISO was trying to screw them.

5. And I think the American sign makes the most sense. Yes I just criticize their way of doing things, but it doesnt mean I think they are wrong! I am a twin brother anyway!

冼師傅

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSKhq2bmqXQ

真係估佢晤到.... 原來係咁唱得

男人喜歡呢首歌係因為

心卑微的顫抖 是真的好難受

男人都會好委屈, 但係又喊晤出, 呢種感覺確實係比死更難受

anyway 呢首歌真係正到爆!!! =)

主唱: 冼灝英
歌名: 最後的溫柔

歌詞:
害怕你的決定因為它沒有理由
如果天長地久 還需要什麼借口
寂寞的夜裡我為誰守候

時間它怎麼走都不會為誰而倒流
如果已經到了 我讓你無法忍受
再請你聽聽我心跳的節奏

這最後的溫柔 貼著我的胸口
像喝了一杯撕心裂肺的烈酒
沒有別的拯救 陷入愛不自由
你能否再為了我而停留

這最後的溫柔 躺在我的胸口
忍不住的眼淚隨著情緒滲透
心卑微的顫抖 是真的好難受
曲終人散了我還不想走 還不想走

我需要個出口 你卻給我借口
放不開是你的手 我的心在痛淚不停流

這最後的溫柔 貼著我的胸口
像喝了一杯撕心裂肺的烈酒
沒有別的拯救 陷入愛不自由
你能否再為了我而停留

這最後的溫柔 躺在我的胸口
忍不住的眼淚隨著情緒滲透
心卑微的顫抖 是真的好難受
曲終人散了我還不想走 還不想走